DON’T ACCEPT THE PROPOSAL GIVE IT TIME by Kingsley Simeon

   

                This title may appear strange and unconventional, but it is as serious as it is. There are things that you must be aware of before accepting a proposal, it is not out of place for someone who you barely know to start his/her worrisome sermon about marriage this and marriage that. But the most careless mistake that you can ever make is to fall for this unrealistic moves.

      Marriage is not a playing ground, it is not a try and error affair, you must understand every bit of it before you get carried away. Observation is the best teacher when it comes to marriage, you are to learn from others before you make your moves. There’s no firm trick in marriage, every bit of it is seriously handled. Movie industry is consciously spreading wrong templates with regards to marriage, for instance they tell you things like “love at first sight” with nice descriptions but in reality they don’t experience the joy they act, they tell you how you can meet your wife in bar, hotels, beach, swimming pool, market, taxi etc. but it is not as rosy as it is described in those movies. Very many of this movie stars don’t last in their marriages, reason being that they have designed their life that it cannot accommodate reality.

Don’t Accept the proposal of a stranger: be well informed about the person you are getting along with  before you accept his proposal, forget about their physical appearance though it matters but that shouldn’t be the major criteria, you should be more interested in knowing the person than just becoming a wife/husband. “Knowledge is weak when your emotion is at work”.  don’t get carried away with those fancy words/voice, cultivate a convincing attitude and be in charge of situations around you, be in control of who comes and goes in your life, take responsibility for every actions of yours .

Don’t be desperate:   the major reason people jump into relationship is fear of the unknown, fear makes you desperate, people understand when you are desperate even though you pretend not to be. When you are desperate it affects your attitude towards your partner, It makes you look pale  and cheap. People can take advantage of you when they sense how desperate you  are about them. When they  read your mood and moves then they can respond to the signal you  are propagating. For instance when a guy knows that you are very interested in marriage and proposal and he  does not have such intentions, he will tell you what you want to hear so he can get what he want from you. Being able to decide what happens to you is a step towards emotional stability. When you say “yes” when you are not convinced, you can undo it before it is too late, (Yeah) I mean before you become a wife/husband.

Don’t be too Quick to leave your shell: Everyone has a shell of adaptability, whether you know it or not, there’s a standard you must have set for yourself, this standard by virtue of your faithfulness to it has kept you from making mistakes. Don’t be too quick to compromise your standard because of one romantic poem. Jealously protect your emotions from emotional terrorists. Apart from knowing this individuals try to align his/her feelings with your principles and see if it matches or contradicts before accepting or making proposals. If he/she is not comfortable with things that makes you happy, it’s a sign that you are both not compatible so do everything in your power not to give them false hope about the way you feel.  Make your expectations clear from the beginning before getting into emotional trauma.

Avoid Proposed Recommendations: Don’t fall victim of people who recommend partners to you. Don’t give people that right to decide who you get married to, you must be involved in the selection process as you alone will face whatever comes out  of it. Your parents should not give you a life partner it is absurd for such to take place in this  century.  These issues has caused many tragedy in most families.  Choose your friend and don’t allow anyone to choose for you. 

Allow God to Lead You: If you must enjoy a happy marriage and relationship, you must be led by God, you must commit your ways into the hands of the Lord for him to lead you. God knows what is best for you, when you allow the Lord to manage and take over the affairs of your life, I am very certain that you will never fall nor falter. This can only be made possible if you surrender your life to the Lord Jesus Christ, accept him as your lord and saviour, trust him with your life and destiny. His word says for I know the thought that I think towards you says the Lord, thought of peace and not of evil to give you an expected end. Jer. 29:11. 

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